OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
