She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
