NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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