My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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