Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
