My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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