i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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