Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
