i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
