tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize