New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
