Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
