he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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