Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think people are normalizing furries
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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