she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
