We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
