finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize