Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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