new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize