I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Its about making memories worth repressing
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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