Don't you send me to vm
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
