My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
