Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i was born a porn star she said
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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