Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
