all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
