Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
