Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
