have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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