There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
