We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
