and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
