i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
