I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
