the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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