I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
