you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
