...so i touched it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
