Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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