Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize