She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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