Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
