Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
