I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
