for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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