we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize