Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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