I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Randomize
