He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
