I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
