? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
