i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
wow bdsm is so cute
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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