My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
