guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
