I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
