it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
