He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
