do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
