Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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